Today, I’m posting the third chapter of the original Marches. This is where I feel now, looking back, the story really began. This Chapter, or at least its heart, will make up the first couple chapters of the rewrite. This is the first time we spend any real time with Mirabelle, and it shows Tienette off a bit, hinting at her character a bit early on. Without any changes, I think this is an okay chapter, but there are a lot of ways I could expand on it.
Most importantly, I think, this was the chapter that made me realize I wanted to concentrate primarily on Mirabelle’s perspective. Originally, I intended on changing back and forth from Mirabelle and Sarus (the son of Tienette and Valamir, who would be her husband). This was when I started to lean more towards Mirabelle, if only because I didn’t have a good view of Sarus yet while I was writing. This is also the first chapter that I feel will make it mostly intact in the second finished draft. It will be rewritten but a lot of it will stay. The heart of the conversations, the snow falling on the beach, and the general feel I enjoyed and would like to remain.
Now, there is a subtextual content that may change. In this chapter, I feel that Tienette felt less like she was up to something than say Valamir, or even to some degree Vedast in later chapters. But, she is as much a schemer as her husband, though her goals here are very different. Also, I want to highlight the familiarity of the situation that she displays. Tienette was also wed to the Vouivre as an arranged marriage, just as Mirabelle is about to be. She, however, wants a different path for her son than the one her husband was given. It isn’t made immediately clear what that difference is.
I don’t think at this point in my writing I knew fully who Tienette was. I think she was still a bit of a mystery to me, and I tried to keep it that way. But later on, it becomes clear that she is from another province, just like Mirabelle was, and one that plays a pivotal role in the story. I think highlighting that, and some of the other expansions made to her character, later on, would be great to demonstrate here, to provide a bit more context as to why Mirabelle connects with her – at least partially – as quickly as she does.
I also didn’t add much of Bastien (her guardsman) in this chapter. You’ll meet him in Chapter 4 officially. I’m not sure if he was a real character yet when I wrote this. He doesn’t appear at all in this chapter, and that is a glaring omission that needs to be fixed. It is a continuity error once you get a couple of chapters forward. It could be handwaved, I suppose, given she is at her family’s hold and there are plenty of guards around. But it is something I want to change.
I hope you enjoy. Let me know what you think.